Lenten Blog - Day 14
Thursday, March 08, 2012
“Do not be anxious” (v. 25, 34)
Junior high school must be a form of purgatory. The awkward transition, the immaturity, the hormones, the popularity, the cafeteria, the cliques. Not many I know romanticize their junior high days (except for the mean bully who does not live in a great big city). Funny how some people give you the impression that they skipped over this period, but the reality is that we could all relate to how raw life was as it related to base emotions. Adulthood things just get more subtle. In any case, I remember it to be an anxious time of life. What kind of clothing you wore revealed where you belonged somewhere in the social stratus. It was one of those schools that insisted on uniforms of some sort. Really, even those who looked effortless, shared in clothing anxiety.
The anxiety is the trace of memory of what makes previous chapters unpleasant. Anxiousness didn’t change anyone’s popularity, but we were all anxious anyway. Anxiety also, in the present, it seems, is to internalize an expectation for let down in life. Anxiousness doesn’t change anything about my present life circumstances. So, why do I default to it?
Maybe because I believe that I can outdress the lilies, want to stay ahead of consuming bird food, and want to add hours to my span of life by willing it through anxiety? The Kingdom of Heaven sounds so much more appealing than Jr. High in its adult subtle forms. Why then worry?